just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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