you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Randomize
