you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
