remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
