YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Just high enough for therapy.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
