I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
