community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
