How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
