small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
