Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
You left your underwear on the fireplace
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
