Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
