Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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