I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
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