how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
