why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Randomize
