We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
