The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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