dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
