C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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