you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
