did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
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