I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
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