After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
