Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
