Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
