Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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