Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
