Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
