She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
