is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
