Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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