Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
