my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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