So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
