god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
