she kept yelling 'call me bella'
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
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