Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
