it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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