I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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