my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
You can't motorboat a personality
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
