I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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