I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
