He had one of those small greek statue penises
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
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