Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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