once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Randomize
