I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
