he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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