forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
