I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
