Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
The best revenge is premature balding
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
