We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
