I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Randomize
