you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
